The Psychology of Excuses is the main reason why it doesn’t work and doesn’t work out. The quality and quantity of excuses is the difference between winning big and losing big. Excuses are not created equal. They vary in intensity. Excuses range from minor run-of-the-mill excuses to major mountainous excuses. The skyscraper type. I believe I’ve set a record for how many excuses I’ve heard in my professional life from perfectly healthy people who truly have no excuses to make. Twenty years of college teaching and forty seasons of coaching football have exposed me to record-breaking excuses from those who have big dreams but small will-power to make them reality. I should be awarded an honourary PhD in the psychology of excuses because I have equivalency in real-life experience of receiving excuses of every size and shape. I consider myself an excuses researcher. I have enough qualifications to publish a theory of why people who don’t have excuses make excuses. Here are some sample findings and conclusions I’ve reached from my research:

1. Excuses all sound the same. The make the exact same noise.
2. Excuses all accomplish the same thing. They get in the way.
3. Passing excuses becomes a habit. Throwing them around becomes second-nature. They become automatic.
4. Receiving excuses becomes a heavy weight to lift.
5. Excuses are the product of REPS – Repeated Excuses are Products of Softness.
6. Chronic excuses have the same outcome – REPS. Repeated Excuses Produce Softness.
7. Left unchecked, chronic excuses lead to more REPS. Repeated Excuses Produce Stress. Stress builds up with repeated excuses because they stop dreams from working out.
8. Breaking the habit of chronic excuses needs coaching.
9. Coaching changes the REPS – Replacing Excuses Produces Success.
10. A true coach is a mentor who refuses to receive excuses because of negative REPS – Receiving Excuses Produces Stress. Receiving excuses constitutes enabling. Enablers are accomplices. The result is stress. Listening to bullshit fills up the memory. No room left until you purge files and throw them in the trash.
11. Mentors can break chronic excuse-making by not receiving them, using the time-proven method – the truth. Excuses build weaknesses. Mentors are not cheerleaders who pile up your weaknesses. Mentors are strength coaches who have only one goal in mind – strengthening your weaknesses.
12. Change the excuses, change the outcome. If you want things to work and work out, change is imperative. Change is not just desirable, it’s a necessity.

I just decided to include this in Book 4 of my business book series. The reason is I’m suffering from excuse-fatigue. I can’t listen to any more excuses from teams or from myself. Excuses are unhealthy – making them and listening to them. They form a Cycle of Insanity that can make you lose your mind. Dual meaning. Listening to excuses is an excuse in itself when things don’t work and work out. By conservative estimate, I received approximately 300 excuses during the past month without doing anything about it. I just received them. They piled on. Then, I used it as an excuse for things not working. Bullshit doesn’t stop piling on its own. Bullshit is contagious. It spreads like manure unless you make a conscious decision and effort to stop it.

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Niagara X-men football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

Imagine writing a simple multiple choice test. No trick questions. Straight forward questions. Questions you know the answers for. A test you can ace with your eyes shut.

Then, imagine failing the test. Bombing it.

Then, imagine getting the test returned with red marks circling the wrong answers with the right answers spelled out. No tricks. The correct answer spelled out in front of your eyes, for your benefit.

Then, imagine thinking, “What the F is wrong with me? I knew the answer but I still bombed the test? Am I F’d up or what?”

Then, imagine being given the luxury of a makeup test. The exact same test. A second chance. Then, imagine handing in the same wrong answers. Imagine getting the test returned with red marks circling the wrong answers with the right answers spelled out.

Then, imagine getting another makeup test. A third chance. Same test. No difference. No trick questions. Straightforward. Then, imagine handing in the test with the exact same wrong answers again. Imagine handing in the test with the same wrong answers.

Who do you blame? Is the test good or evil? Is the test being given over and over again for your own good or is this some kind of sick, twisted joke from some kind of demon that’s escaped from hell trying to mess with your head? Or are you just plain stupid?

This is what I’ve experienced every May for as long as I can remember. I wasn’t born in May. I’m a Leo, not a Taurus. But Taurus seems to be the month that bugs the hell out of me. I’m on a streak of May hell. Exact same test, exact same wrong answers. I’ve stumbled and bumbled through the exact same test, answering the same wrong answers, and received the right answers marked in red. But I never pass the test the first time. I receive the answers but can’t pass. History repeats itself and I repeat history.

I used to believe that bone-head decisions are evil’s secret weapons. I used to believe that every dumbass move I made was the work of the devil. The devil-made-me-do-it was always my alibi. Now I believe that evil simply presents the opportunity and we have the free will to fall for it or not. I make the exact same jackass decision over and over and over. It gets to the point that I’m not sure which side is actually responsible.

I now believe that bone-head decision are the product of bad conditioning that leads to poor exercise of free will. Horrible fitness. The failure to exercise free will positively is a matter of choice. All evil does is call a play and asks you to respond to it. The month of May is the chosen month for me, the one where I’m asked to do spring cleaning but I make a clutter instead.

I haven’t figured it out yet. I can’t solve the mystery. I used to believe evil was behind the launching of my May attacks. Now I’m confused. Maybe it’s the other side testing me to make sure I’ve got the answers straight before I can move forward. But I know one thing for certain – failing the test is hell. And, there’s a difference between hell and pure hell. One you can escape. The other you can’t because you’ve accepted your place in it. Accepting a seat in hell means you’ve stopped fighting to escape it. You’ve lost hope for a rescue. When you resign to any level of hell, it becomes pure hell.

I’ve never read the Dante’s Inferno in its entirety because I believe that it’s as depressing as it gets but I quote it a lot. Especially the part of multi-levels of hell. The book became a big hit, a timeless classic. It’s the Purple Haze of literature. I understand the basic message of the book and I use it as back-up motivation to escape the hell that never stops following us around. But, to be honest, I learned the true secret of motivation long ago from the best motivational speaker and teacher I’ve ever heard. He taught me the First Law of Survival – you don’t get a free pass from hell, you have to escape it. It takes effort. Heavy lifting. Running from hell won’t work out. You have to fight it and fight through it. But never let hell win by default. Never forfeit. Escaping hell isn’t easy but it’s worth every drop of sweat, blood, and guts you have to spill to escape hell.

I believe that we’re not alone in our collective effort to escape hell. It starts with one conscious decision. One exercise of free will is all it takes but it won’t happen on its own. Each exercise of free will takes a conscious effort. After free will is exercised, I believe that a team effort is mobilized where a lot of people are assigned parts to play, to help you make the right call and then execute the play flawlessly.

There’s good news and bad news when evil escapes from hell and comes after you. The good news is that when evil comes after you, you must have a big assignment ahead of you even if you don’t get it at the moment. That’s what I believe. When evil lines up and sends waves of pressure, I believe it’s an attempt to throw you off-track from something big. I believe that evil has one objective – to stop you from your calling. Your mission. Your next assignment. The bad news is that when evil escapes from hell and comes after you, you better be in shape to last the fight. Because if you’re not, you’ll get flattened. Torn apart. Eaten alive. It’ll leave your carcass for vultures. There’ll be nothing left of you except pieces of your former self.

The Second Law of Survival is simple – we make our own hell. Stop making your own hell and the need to escape it disappears.

I’m including this in another new book that I started writing two days ago because I had a poweful feeling that it’s a message that needs to be heard worldwide. I’ve tolerated mediocrity from myself with enough bone-head decisions. It’s time to stop. Or at least try harder.

Here’s a link to Purple Haze. It’s been one of my Top Ten Workout songs for decades. Keep lifting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4913gaj0_4w

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Niagara X-men football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

In 1967, I sat on my ass in front of a TV watching my three favourite/favorite pro teams all win championships in the same year. I saw the Toronto Maple Leafs win a Stanley Cup, the Green Bay Packers win an NFL championship, and the St. Louis Cardinals win a World Series all in 1967. Clean sweep. Slowly I stopped giving a shit about the Leafs, Packers, Cardinals, the NHL, NFL, and MLB. The reason was the best motivational speaker you’ve never heard of – Antonio Arcaro.

My father got on me for wasting my time watching grown men trying to put a puck in a net – “Are they going to pay you? Are they going to send you a cheque?” It didn’t sink in at first but it turned out to be life-altering advice. I stopped sitting on my ass watching grown men make millions. I stopped living vicariously through pro athletes. I’m not 100% rehabilitated. I still read every sports page I can find. I still read Sports Illustrated weekly, cover to cover. Not bragging but I know sports inside out. The past, the present. I should do my own sports talk show. No joke, I would be a big hit. Guaranteed. And yes, I snuck peaks at the TV last night watching the Leafs game 7 meltdown. Yes it pissed me off. Yes I was mildly depressed like I have been since 1967 because they can’t win just one Stanley Cup. But deep down, I just don’t give a shit about pro sports because Antonio was right – it’s an epic waste of time. And even worse waste of emotional energy.

I fell off the wagon today and checked all the online sports websites to read all the Leafs post-mortems. Sunday night I had another relapse on the way to the Toronto airport and listened to parts of Game 6 on the radio. I said, “F you, Bruins” for the first time since the 60’s. Out loud. In the third period of Game 7, I actually said, “4-1. Locked up” out loud, for the first time in 5 decades. Then I heard voices and saw a ghost – “Are they going to pay you?”

I still hear Antonio’s voice in my head. It won’t go away. Antonio was an illiterate immigrant who was too focused about real-life survival. He didn’t have the time or the desire to worry about which millionaire was clobbering another millionaire’s head into the boards. He was right. F’em all. Why on Earth should I feel sad or bad for another year without a Stanley Cup? Seriously, what do I care? Are they going to pay us for watching and bleeding blue? No. Antonio was 100% right. They won’t. Fans are paying hard earned money to watch them blow a 4-1 third period lead. My life is not better or worse if the Leafs win or lose. I care even less about major league baseball and the soap opera called the NFL.

Here’s my point – I didn’t know it at the time but I was being taught by a world-class motivator. At the time, I honestly thought he was being a pain in the ass. I never would have said it to him – ever – but I couldn’t take listening to him when I was 10. It took me awhile for his words of wisdom to sink in. But it did. It sunk in deep. I learned that we don’t live twice and we don’t live forever. I refuse to waste it by vegetating in front of a TV white-knuckling it over spoiled millionaire athletes about whether or not they win a trophy. And listening to the same bullshit clichés – “Man, they’re built for the playoffs.” What does that mean? “They never quit.” Are you sure? Because they played like shit for 50 minutes.

After I returned to childhood by momentarily sulking after the Bruins scored in overtime, I heard the voice again and I saw the ghost again. Then, I had an epic workout. The best workout in May so far. I lost count at 320 reps. Then I ran. Then I started a new book. Then I prepared for a radio show. But most importantly, I came to my senses and made a serious life decision that corrected a bone-head move I made recently because, as it turns out, I still don’t listen to the greatest motivational speaker I’ve ever heard – “Are they paying you?”
Antonio was a great man. An incredible soul of a lifter, a remarkable leader who made more sense than all my leadership studies combined in my master’s degree. The new book I’ve started is about Antonio’s leadership principles. I felt compelled to carry on his work. I had a moment of clarity about what my priorities are. The revelation was a spiritual event. I got the message. My new calling got through. My next assignment cut through the clutter because I opened my eyes, my heart, my mind, and my ears to hear voices and to see a ghost.

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
author – Soul of a Lifter
head coach – Niagara X-men football team

Item 1. Nothing just happens. I stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago when coincidences proved to be a connection. I wrote an investigative theory about it in my first textbook called Criminal Investigation: Forming Reasonable Grounds. In a nutshell, the theory is about perspective and opening your eyes. If you immediately dismiss an event as a coincidence, you’ll miss the connection. If you immediately classify something that happens as a coincidence, you’re closing your eyes tight about the connections that led to the event. You’ll never solve that specific mystery. In other words, you’ll miss the point of what just happened, a point that could have been the turning point. You’ll have missed the real eye-opener.

Nothing just happens. I don’t believe that we randomly meet people. I stopped believing in random meetings that just happen for no reason. The reason is evidence. Every turning point in my life happened by meeting someone who gave me an opportunity, who taught me a lesson, who pointed me in a direction. I believe it’s a two-way street. Not only are people sent into our lives to send us messages, we are sent into other peoples’ lives to send them messages. A complex but simple messaging center. It’s up to the receiver to not drop the message. Don’t delete the message until you get the point. Save the message in a safe place. And don’t mess around with messages.

The problem with messages is two opposing teams – good and evil. One leads, the other misleads. Figuring out what team the messenger is from isn’t easy. It takes next-level investigative skills. There’s a lot at stake so getting it right is the difference between the right direction and wrong direction. Investigating the source of the message depends on evaluating credibility. I wrote a theory of how to evaluate credibility in my Criminal Investigation: Forming Reasonable Grounds textbook. I use it in every aspect of my life. It’s a 10-point ‘how-to’ list but the starting point is the most important – never give instant credibility. Ever. Prove it. Don’t just hand over a high credibility rating without supporting evidence or you’ll be disappointed. Even heart-broken.

When I screw up the messages, things get screwed up. When I ignore message or listen to the wrong one, things go side-ways. Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t ignore messages and don’t listen to the wrong ones. Follow the right messages. Sounds easy but it isn’t. It’s easier said than done.

Item 2. The events of the past 4 days have been life-changers. On Saturday, I gave my third and final Father-of-the-Bride speech. Three days before, I had no clue what to say. None. But I searched and found the answer. I was on fire. Epic speech. I could do this for a living for nervous FOTBs who fear public speaking. It was an unscripted 20-minute Father-of-the-Bride speech that got an off-the-charts approval rating. Here’s my point. This isn’t self-promotional. It’s a message. The search for the right words were life-changing for a number of reasons. The biggest reason was clarity. My first two FOTB speeches were big hits. But this was a masterpiece. The reason was that this time I had less bullshit clogging my brain. I started a mental detox three years ago by becoming a full-time business owner and writer. I sliced my mind-fat percentage down to single digits. Accumulated bullshit turns to fat. Waste mismanagement. If your waste management system isn’t firing on all cylinders, you’ll suffered cognitive constipation.

Saturday’s FOTB speech was the equivalent of the Beatles playing at Shea Stadium. The ‘Hard Day’s Night’ and ‘Hey Jude’ of FOTB speeches. The truth is that my FOTB speech opened my eyes. It was another life-changer. It’s too long of a story but you can read between the lines why.

On Monday night, I was a guest on a TV program called “Health Matters” hosted by Dr. Lana Marconi at the Rogers TV studio in Brampton. Another epic event. We were both on fire. We connected. We hit it off. We talked about working out. Dr. Marconi is a true pro. Don’t be surprised if you see her on national TV soon. Don’t be surprised if she becomes Canada’s Oprah. Too bad it was only a one-hour program. It was real talk – blunt talk. No bullshit. It’ll be on Youtube soon and on Dr. Marconi’s website at http://www.drlana.com/TV.html

On Tuesday I was a guest on Velocity Training BlogTalk Radio hosted by Layla Starchild, from Vancouver. The topic was the positives and negatives of sports. Epic dialogue. We were both on fire. We connected. We hit it off. Layla is a true pro. Don’t be surprised if she becomes a national talk show star. Here’s the link to the free podcast: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/velocity-athletic-training/2013/05/07/youth-in-athletic-activities

Last night I went to football practice. Epic 2-hours of hard work. No team, nowhere would have ripped out more reps in 120 minutes. Guaranteed. Here’s the only problem – there’s a lot of bullshit that has to be lifted to build a football team. Tons and tons of accumulated bullshit. My speech at the end of practice was epic. The theme was team suffering. The reason I love working out is that I have no team to rely on. I don’t have to get let down by others failing to appear. I don’t have to suffer from no back-up – my team not showing up for practice or showing up on a play when help is needed. Teams are different. You’re at the mercy of an entire group. Team suffering happens when the 100%-100% ratio doesn’t happen – when 100% of the team is not 100% committed. Expecting to win a championship ring when less than 100% of the team is less than 100% committed is another definition of insanity.

It’s amazing what can happen when you reduce mind-fat. Cutting bullshit from your mind takes some heavy lifting but you have to dig in and keep lifting. Nothing just happens. Open your eyes and your heart to what happens. Life is truly amazing. One of my favourite quotes is Psalm 116 – “How can I give back to the Lord for all the blessings He’s poured out on me?” You can hear it in the epic U2 live version of Stay + Bad + 40 + Where the Streets Have No Name (Elevation 2001: Live from Boston). It’s on my workout Ipod. I suggest you put it on yours. If it doesn’t lift you to lift more, go for a check-up. Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MS6kZ8u0zY

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

Just for special effects, I started calculating the number of hours I’ve spent coaching football for free. I stopped because it started to become depressing. I don’t want to know. The reasons are that: (a) there’s nothing more important than family, and (b) spilling your guts for other peoples’ kids, for free, for 40 seasons borders on madness, especially when a significant percentage didn’t give a shit by missing workouts, missing practice, and giving half-assed effort or less. Convincing athletes to work hard is draining. There’s nothing more difficult than trying to make athletes love hard work when they hate it.

Quite often, I question my sanity for investing time away from my own family for the benefit of many who couldn’t care less. I’m a realist. I don’t romanticize football like many coaches, players, and fans do. Coaching is a paradox – a double-edge sword. It’s a blessing but it can be curse. Coaching is work. Hard work. Who in their right mind would work for free in a profession that pays millions of dollars a year to do the same job? The football community likes to boast about the impact they make but so do other professions. When you’re getting paid, it’s an obligation to spill your guts so spare me the I’m-saving-the-world self backslapping. There are countless volunteers around the world doing incredible things for fellow humans that don’t get publicized because their volunteer work is not sexy enough for the public like sports.

Here’s a word of advice – nothing is more important than family. If you have children, never forget they will be children once. That’s it…once. I’m not advocating selfishness. I’m simply telling you the truth – be careful about how you spend your time when your family is growing up. Be smart. If you’re going to make a life of coaching for free, make sure that the people you coach actually give a shit. If they don’t, you’re sacrificing time away from your own children that you can never get back. Again, don’t mistake this as volunteer-bashing. It isn’t. It’s about the exchange of social graces. One of the countless definitions of insanity is investing high-interest into low-interest. It lunacy to keep spilling your guts when you’re not getting the same in return. It’s flat-out craziness.

There is nothing romantic about football. It’s a high-risk vicious sport. It’s as dangerous as it gets. Coaching football players to survive in a contact sport that can leave you busted up is brutally hard work. It’s more than just the hours you spend at practice. It includes the amount of disengagement time off the field when you’re thinking about how to get your players fit, mentally and physically, to win instead of getting embarrassed week in and week out. It’s impossible to calculate the hours of detachment from your family by fooling yourself that you’re physically there but your mind is on Xs and Os.

Nothing is more important than family. Nothing is more important than spilling your guts to raise your children to become the very best they can be. You get one shot at raising your children because before you know it, they’re adults. Childhood is temporary. I’m not saying that you can’t have a life outside of being a parent. That’s not my point. My point is don’t be stupid. Don’t be a fool. Be careful.

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

‘Is it worth it?’

Translation – does it have any value? Is it making my life better? Or, is it a complete waste of time. The answer to that question is the biggest difference between winning and losing. If you get it right, you will win big. Get it wrong and you lose big. Not only will you end up in dead last, you will waste precious time that you can’t get back.

How much time we waste determines exactly what we make out of our lives. I’ve said this speech thousands of times. I know it off by heart. Wasting time is the reason other people win and you don’t. Same speech over and over as a cautionary tale to people I’ve coached and taught on the field, in the gym, and in college classrooms. Whenever I’m asked for advice about why things are turning out the way someone wants is, the first question I ask is, “How much time do you waste?” Personally, I don’t scold people about what they do and don’t do. We all have to learn lessons the hard way by wasting time and suffering the consequences for it. I mind my own business until it becomes my business.

Do an inventory of the past 7 days. Think of any things you’ve done that was a complete waste of time. Add it up. Let it sink in. Then you’ll see what counts.

I can’t stand wasting time because I’ve suffered the side effects of wasting time but I have not truly mastered the concept because the line between wasting time and not wasting time keeps getting thinner and blurred. I just finished a book two days ago called Fourth and Hell: season 3. Took me 7 weeks, 2 weeks longer than it should have. Then I screwed around the day after, working on stuff that wasn’t worth it but I did it anyway. It’s another definition of insanity – knowing that stuff is not worth it but doing it anyway.

There’s a voice inside my head that tells me exactly when I’m wasting my time, when something is not worth it. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don’t for reasons that are delusional. All of us have limitless potential, more than we know. How much potential we waste is up to each one of us. We control our own potential. If you’re not in control of your own potential, you’ll never reach it because the people who control your potential likely are more concerned about theirs than yours.

I made a personal vow several years ago to never let anyone control my own potential. I vowed to never turn it over to anyone for any reason. But every time I do something that’s not worth it, I go back on my own word.

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

Several years ago, I chose leadership as my master’s thesis topic. Specifically, my goal was to find the true secret to leadership. The first step was a literature review. Leadership is one of the most written-about topics. It started near the beginning of civilization. I broke up the literature review into three eras – pre-modern, modern, post-modern. After reading countless theories, I wrote a 333-page literature review as the first stage of my thesis. I brought it to my ethics committee. They tore it apart with a ‘how-dare-you’ scolding for exceeding the traditional 50 pages. And I got yelled at for including real-life experience which, apparently, doesn’t count. Identical to elementary school scolding for pushing and shoving in the recess line. No one explained why or how on Earth to reduce centuries of theories to 50 pages.

No literature review, no master’s thesis will ever fully prepare you to lead a team out of any kind out of hell or stop a team from sliding into hell. True leadership is exhausting because no fight is worse than fighting hell – the fight to get out of hell or the fight to stop your team from going straight to hell.

Many people are obsessed with being the boss. There are several reasons for the boss obsession – power, money, title, more likes, control but the main reason is escaping the frontline. Here’s what I mean. I was in a seminar one night when I was in my master’s program. The professor asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up. One after another said ‘boss’ even though they would miss the frontline. Without putting up my hand, I asked, “If you’ll miss it so much, why don’t you stay there?” Everyone ganged up on me with how-dare-yous. I struck a chord. Policing taught me that the first sign of deception is anger is response to a simple question. The sand fight ended up in the equivalent of being sent to our rooms – we all were sent to the cafeteria as punishment.

True leadership is exhausting. It’s not sexy, not glamorous. There’s a big difference between boss and leaders. Bosses brag at cocktail parties that they have X number of people working “under” them and “reporting” to them. Bosses call themselves superiors and those ‘beneath’ them subordinates. It’s perverse language. Filthy. Dehumanizing. True leaders are too busy and too exhausted to worry about looking sexy. Fighting hell is a contact sport. The glamour of ‘boss’ printed on a business card or on the corner-office door is window dressing and make-up that covers-up what’s missing. True leadership is revealed when the gloves are dropped. Leadership is measured in distance – where the hell you are when hell happens.

Hell exposes every imposter. No disguise can hide incompetent leadership when a team faces hell. No amount of layers can protect a pretender. The difference between a boss and leader is direction – who runs like hell and who stands up to fight it.

I’m honoured to be a guest on a live call-in TV show called ‘Health Matters’ hosted by Dr. Lana Marconi, Rogers Cable Channel 10 TV, Peel Region – Mississauga/Brampton. Monday, May 6, 7-8 pm. Thank you for the opportunity.

http://www.drlana.com/TV.html

http://www.rogerstv.com/page.aspx?rid=51&lid=12&sid=5126

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

I was sent to a one week work-related seminar many years ago where one of the courses was the psychology of team-building. The instructor brought us out to the parking lot and broke the class into teams of five. I watched in horror as the instructor threw several mats on the roadway between two sidewalks and told the first team to crowd onto one mat and cross the road as a team from one mat to another without touching the pavement. I watched in more horror as the first team actually complied. They crammed together on one mat in a sea of human flesh and tried to cross onto the next mat without touching the pavement. It looked like a bad Twister commercial. Adult human flesh packed together trying cross the street. I got in my car and drove away. It was a low point. Time wasted on stupidity that had zero relevance to real-life. Someone later asked me where I went. I told him the truth, that I left in embarrassment. He looked sad and asked if I had fun at anything during the seminar. I told him no, that it was a 100% waste of time and put it in writing.

Team-building is a complex dynamic that goes beyond pizza nights, kayaking weekends, bowling trips, and campfire sing-alongs. Building a team can drive you nuts because getting a group of people to work hard at the same time, all the time, is one of the most difficult jobs on Earth because of the prevalent hatred toward physical and mental exertion. White-water rafting excursions won’t convince the lazy to work hard. Karaoke evenings will not change apathy and lethargy. Laziness is the biggest obstacle to any team building. Not just any ordinary obstacle, it’s mountainous. Compounding the problem is the fear of using the word lazy to describe the problem. Sugar-coating it won’t solve it.

A lazy team will get you killed – literally and figuratively. A lazy team guarantees losing. If you own a self-generated business, a lazy team will make you lose every dollar you own. If you coach a lazy football team, you will lose every game. If you work in a high-risk profession, a lazy team can make you lose your life. Laziness is a plague that will stop any team from winning. Left unchecked, a lazy team will become a burning hell to be around. Laziness is the number one killer of team success. Fist-pumping motivational seminars won’t change laziness. Dress-up and dress-down days won’t motivate a lazy team to put in the work to win big. And laziness is not created equal. There are multi-levels of laziness ranging from low to next-level off-the-charts full-fledged lost-cause laziness. Left unchecked, laziness becomes habitual. Chronic laziness doesn’t just change. It doesn’t change overnight and it doesn’t change on its own. I used to believe that you can motivate the lazy but it depends on the level of laziness. High-scale laziness is a threat to your team because business and sports teams don’t have the luxury of time. Deep-rooted laziness has to be changed in some safe place where survival isn’t at stake.

Laziness happens in two places – training and game-time. Lazy training, lazy game. Train like you fight, fight like you train. A lazy practice team becomes a lazy game team. It’s impossible to turn it on at game-time. It’s impossible for your game to exceed your training. True team-building centers on changing laziness. Cuddly group activity like crossing the street on mats is a symptom of not dealing with reality. Real-life is a contact sport. If you don’t train for it with live action, real-life will drive you into the boards face-first, leaving you crumpled on the ground like a cheap, wrinkled suit. Laziness is no match for real-life. I’ve told the story countless times about my collegiate club football team’s first season playing in the USA. Our team paid dearly for its laziness. My team needed white chalk and yellow tape. Our football games looked like crime scenes. They learned one of the painful definitions of insanity – trying to play at the next level with low level work ethic.

Be careful if you play on a lazy team because your lazy team is your biggest threat. Your enemy is not the competition. Your worst nightmare is a lazy team because you won’t have back-up.

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

The difference between winning and losing are those who know how to make it happen and those who stop it from happening. There’s nothing in between. You choose one side or the other. No one else makes the choice for you.

Those who know how to make it happen, know how to get the job done. They know what it takes. They take what they know and put it in action.

Those who don’t know how to make it happen, don’t know how to get the job done. They don’t know what it takes. They take what they don’t know and put it in inaction.

Winning is a full-contact sport. I’ll never understand expectations to win without paying for it. We’re a blue collar team. Working class wins. Full contact Sunday. Pre-season is not fantasy football. Choices about commitment have to be made. There’s no such thing as partial commitment. There’s full commitment, zero commitment, and nothing in between. #OakvilleLonghorns

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter

The first sign of old-age is hoping it will work out when you don’t.

The second sign of old-age is when you stop and don’t start again.

The third sign of old-age is the regret of never starting again that turns into bitterness.

My football team just finished indoor spring camp, the lead-up to pre-season. Over 600 reps were invested. Not everyone invested. Some did, some didn’t. I’m not a micromanager. I don’t bug the hell out of people. I mind my own business – literally and figuratively. Those who practice will be rewarded with a ring. Those who don’t, won’t. I don’t phone players and bug them that they missed practice. I don’t celebrate those who show up to practice. The reason is consciousness. Each one of us has to raise our own individual levels of consciousness alone in order to make a difference on the rest of the world. Working out has to come straight from the heart. Practicing has to come straight from the heart. If I have to force you to workout and practice, it’s coming straight from my heart, not yours. It doesn’t count if it comes straight from my heart because learning to do anything straight from the heart is an individual sport.

Old-age doesn’t happen on a specific birthday. That just makes it official. Old-age starts when you stop – when you stop giving a shit. The phenomenon of not-giving-a-shit is a threat to any team. Not giving a shit is the difference between getting the shit beat out of you by the other team and not getting the shit beat out of you. Getting the shit beat out of you or not is a matter of personal choice. You have to give a shit to not get the shit beat out of you. That’s why I don’t bug the shit out of anyone because it’s a lesson we all have to learn on our own. It makes no sense for me to give a shit if you don’t because if you don’t, it truly doesn’t matter if I do or don’t. It’s like the tree falling in the forest when no one’s there. If no one’s there, there’s no sound. If no one can hear it, no sound is made. The same applies with giving a shit. If you’re not there, it doesn’t matter whether I do or don’t.

When you slow down, you eventually come to a dead stop. Anti-aging is found in anti-sedentary, anti-slowing down, anti-stopping. If you want to grow old pre-maturely, go ahead. It’s your choice. My job as a coach is not to scold and not to babysit. I don’t run a day-care or an old-age home or a retirement village. I learned a long time ago that trying to change the unchangeable is a waste of time and energy. Change starts from within. I can’t stop you from aging prematurely. Nothing I can say or do will make you start. Nothing I say will stop you from growing old while you’re young. If you want to stop, you will regardless of what I do or say. If you want to grow old, you will. If you want to waste your potential, you will regardless of what anyone says because the only voice that matters is your conscience.

Peace.

Gino Arcaro M.Ed., B.Sc., NCCP Level 3
owner – X Fitness Inc.
head coach – Oakville Longhorns football team
author – Soul of a Lifter